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Episode 620: Danger! Death Ray!

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Complete Audio File

(Mike is trying to teach Tom how to flip a card from the edge of the desk, then catch it)

[Tom] - Okay, wait. Show me just one more time.

[Mike] - It's very simple. (demonstrating) It's just like that.

[Crow] - ([Tom] - I just don't have the....) Mike, Tom.... Thanks to today's movie, I've realized more firmly than ever, the importance to a man of a good pair of mans sunglasses.

[Mike] - Like those.

[Crow] - Uh, why, yes! Uh, one of a line of Italian sunglasses I've developed.

[Crow] - Uh, Cambot, the Ba-da-da - da-da music, please... (music starts playing) Thank you. Note how the delicate lines shade my sensitive eyes from the harsh and wrinkle inducing mid-day sun.

[Tom] - I don't know. They seem a little womany to me.

[Crow] - No, they're for men! ([Tom] - Ah...)

[Crow] - Mike, you'll find a lovely box under there, filled with more of my Italian sunglasses for men. Keep in mind, these work best if you've got a small Italian head.

[Crow] - Oh, there's a luscious pair!

[Tom] - Now *those* are womany!

[Crow] - Except that they're for men. Yes, this model I call the Brigitte Bardot.

[Mike] - ([Tom] - (laughing)) She's French!

[Crows] - Whatever.... Uh, Mike, the point is, these glasses accentuate a man's own special features. And maybe help us get to a place, a secret inner manly place, that only men can know.

[Tom] - And they're....for men?

[Crow] - Of course! Who else?

[Mike] - (Places a pair of glasses on Tom)

[Crow] - Oh, and now my favorite: A Coliseum by Moonlight! Oh yes! A shared glass of rosette, and intimate evening of movies on Lifetime....

[Tom] - Oh, now that's womany! ([Crow] - What is!?!?)

[Mike] - Look, men wear these sunglasses?

[Crow] - Of course! How many times do I have to explain!?

[Mike] - Now, it seems like you'd have to be pretty confident to....

[Crow] - I don't see why! Look, if you guys don't like my exclusive line of sunglasses for Italian men, then that's just fine! (storms off)

[Mike] - Maybe we're not Italian enough?

[Mike] - ([Tom] - I don't know....) We'll be right back.

[Tom] - They're pretty gosh-darn womany.

[Mike] - Yeah, there's something about them. I don't know. ([Tom] - Yeah...)

(Segment Ends)

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