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Episode 702: The Brute Man

Host Segment

---------------------------

(Segment begins mid conversation)

(The sound of a car engine, then a car door closing can be heard in the background)

[Pearl] - (From off-camera) .... And don't you dare kill this boyfriend like you did the last one, Clayton!

[Dr F] - AH, YES MOTHER!

[Dr F] - Um, "HI", Guys.  Mom has a date tonight...

(Doorbell rings)

[Pearl] - (From off-camera) Clayton, be a dear - get that.

[Dr F] -SURE! There's nothing else I need to do. I'm your personal slave. That is probably why you had me...(laughs)  IT'S OPEN!

(Door opens)

[Sandy] -Hi!

[Dr F] - Um, Hi... Um, Mom, that guy is here!

[Sandy] - I'm Sandy. You must be Pearl's boy? ([Dr F] - (Sort of laughs a "Yes")) What are you doing?

[Dr F] - I'm sewing the head of a piglet onto a fish! ([Sandy] - Blows his nose into a handkerchief) Oh....

[Sandy] - Oh yeah... Hobbies are great. I do model trains. (He picks up something from Dr F's desk)

[Dr F] - Yeah, I'm sure you do... (Taking back whatever the object is) Excuse me..

[Sandy] - Your mother is one fine woman, Clay. Just between you and me, I wouldn't be expecting her home tonight.

[Dr F] - MOTHER!

[Pearl] - Hi, Sandy!

[Sandy] - PEARL! You are looking... hhaagghhhh!

[Pearl] - Well, looks like you two have had a chance to get to know each other. OK, listen up, people. Mother is going out with her friend Sandy tonight. So, Art, you're in charge.

[Mike] - Crow!?! ([Tom] - Come on!) ([Gypsy] - No way!)

[Crow] - Sure, Pearl! Now, you have yourself a good time, and don't worry about a thing! (Mike, Gypsy and Tom are very upset) ([Gypsy] - T-ah!) ([Tom] - Man!) ([Gypsy] - T-ah!) ([Tom] - Man!)

[Pearl] - So what Art says, goes, people! And that means you, too, Clayton!

(Crow is suddenly wearing a jacket, has a plate of cookies and an ice-cream in front of him, while he reads a magazine)

[Crow] - OK, you big babies! Here are the rules! Go to bed now, and don't get up, or I'll put your hands in a garbage disposal!

[Crow] - ([Tom/Gypsy] - AHHHHHH!) Shut up, Kid!

[Mike] - Look Crow! There's no way! I'm bigger than you, and I'm older than you! There's no way you're my babysitter! ([Tom] - Yeah!)

[Crow] - Just for that, you wash my feet!

(Mike is in the background, acting as if he's puking on Crow's head, and like he's going to hit Crow)

[Tom] - CROW! ([Crow] - SHUT UP!) CROW! ([Crow] - SHUT UP!) CROW! ([Crow] - SHUT UP!) CROW! ([Crow] - GO TO BED!)

[Gypsy] - Crow! ([Crow] - You shall live...) Thank you. ([Crow] - SHUT UP!)

[Pearl] - Bye-bye, sweetie (She air-kisses Clayton) I'll be back whenever I feel like it, and there's no number where you can reach me. Ciao!

(Pearl heads out the door)

[Sandy] - (Watches Pearl walk away, then he glairs at Clayton, and makes a suggestive fish-thrust) POOM! ([Dr F] - OH, MOTHER! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!)

(Sandy follows Pearl out the door)

[Dr F] - Oh well... He's not the first oily man that's taken Mom to the mat...

(You can hear a car door closing, then the car cranking up and driving off)

[Dr F] - Your experiment this week is a Rondo Hatton vehicle called Brute Man. And there's also a short....

(Gypsy, Tom and Mike try their best to drive crow crazy)

(Mike is poking at Crow's head and mouth)

[Crow] - Aren't you supposed to be in bed by now!? Get back into bed! You - Would you stop it!

[Crow] - Would you stop that! (Movie Sign alarms) ([Tom] - Movie Sign!!!!!!) Oh, what have you kids done!!! What have you done!! You stupid kids!

(Segment Ends)

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