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Episode 403: City Limits

Host Segment

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(Coming out of Joel's invention exchange, "Stuffing-Instead-Of-Potatoes Head")

[Frank] - Stuffing instead of potatoes! Honey, I love you!

(Dr F shoves Frank off-camera)

[Dr F] - Meat is murder, Frank!

[Dr F] - Speaking of conserving waste.... Just because your British pop sensation's career has gone stale, doesn't mean he has to. That's why we've invented the Tupperware container to lock-in pop star freshness!

[Dr F] - Who's our stale singing sensation, Frank?

[Frank] - Well, it's none other than British pop star Morrissey!

(Morrissey just sits there, in silence, sulking and looking very down)

[Frank] - (A nervous laugh or two) ..... He's a little depressed..... So, Morrissey, um.... How are you doing?

[Morrissey] - (To Dr F) He hurt me with that remark. Did I mention that I cried?

[Frank] - (Nervous laugh) Well, I mean, come on, Morrissey. I mean, um.... We're basically evil, granted. But a lot of what we say around here is just good natured ribbing.

[Morrissey] - Well, it hurt me! Did I mention that I cried? Is it wrong not to always be glad?

[Dr F] - (To Morrissey) Well, we seem to have got you at a bad time... Um, like, um, Morrissey, Joel, your experiment this week comes from that shameful decade known as The 80's. Ah, it's a film called City Limits, and it stars James Earl Jones, at the low point in his career, and Kim Cattrell at a high point. It also has Robbie Benson and Ray Dawn Chong doing things they're not happy with either.

[Dr F] - And now, to prove that our Tupperware coffin really locks in pop star freshness, Morrissey is going to honor us with a song. Aren't you, Morrissey?

[Morrissey] - This is a song I wrote at a time in my life when I was very, very, very sad... Breakfast, actually... It's called Hairdresser in a Coma.

[Morrissey] - (Singing) I cried last night, I died a million deaths, thinking of your sweet face, and the way you sing. I cried inside, we lied and died, and then I cried again....

(Dr F and Frank get a little tired of Morrissey. Frank Motions for Dr F to get the Tupperware lid)

(Dr F and Frank snap the lid back on Morrissey)

[Morrissey] - (Singing) I must have wept for hours, because I couldn't find my love...

[Morrissey] - (continues to sing, sealed inside the Tupperware)

[Frank & Dr F] - (Feeling very uncomfortable concerning Morrissey, his freshness, as well as his song stylings)

(Movie Sign)

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