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05/31/2002


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Episode 105: The Corpse Vanishes

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Complete  or Audio File

[Crow] - Hey, what are you reading?

[Tom] - Oh, it's the, uh, latest edition of Tiger Bot magazine. They have a big, full-color spread of Data, from Star Trek.

[Crow] - Data!? Wow! He's dreamy!

[Tom] - Says here he's getting bigger than Kirk Cameron, too.

[Crow] - Wow... Hey! Hey, hey, look at that schematic, there! Wow! Look at that brain!

[Tom] - I wish I had me one of those positronic brains....

[Crow] - Wow. Data's got all the candy! Hey, uh, Servo, uh, who's - who's the dream date this week?

[Tom] - Let me see. Uh, says here... Twiki...

[Crow] - Twiki!?!?! What a coaster! He hasn't worked since Buck Rogers!

[Tom] - I know! What a putz! "Beadie-beadie-beadie! Want to dance, Buck?"

[Crow] - (Laughs) Yeah, you know, that guy couldn't interface without a load-pan adaptor!

[Crow] - Such a shrimpy little bot, anyway. You know, with those ineffectual arms, and that stupid bubble head, and....

[Tom] - Funny, Crow... ([Crow] - Oops!)

[Tom] - Oh, great! Look, here's the spreadsheets on Data! Let's see, uh, Turn On's: Electricity, uh, quiet walks in the holodeck, Cray super-computers, uh...

[Tom] - Let's see... Turn Offs: Switches, fat Klingons in sweat-pants, and Shatner hanging around the set telling war stories... Oh, here, and Tandy products.

[Tom] - Okay, Pet Peeves: Yes, definitely! Uh, Favorite Actress: Julie Newmar - Favorite Scotch: James Doohan...

[Tom] - Secret Fantasy... Hey, wait a minute! Look at this! His secret fantasy, it says right here, "I'd really love to be human." Oh, man!

[Crow] - Oh, how predictable! The old Pinocchio syndrome!

[Tom] - This is the kind of clown who gives us bots a really bad name!

[Crow] - Yeah! What a sell-out!

[Tom] - And speaking of sell-outs....

(End Segment)

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