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Episode 608: Code Name: Diamond Head
Host Segment
---------------------------
[Crow] - (reading Life magazine) Ah, that
Loudon Wainwright... Ah, what a .... (Notices Tom reading over his shoulder)
Hey! Do you mind? I'm reading here....
[Crow] - (Clears his throat, then tries to
go on with his reading, while Tom breaths heavily over his shoulder) What's that
smell? Do you have to breath on me!? ([Tom] - Shut up!) Jeeze!
[Tom] - Oh,
wait! I want to read Hugh Sighty.. ([Crow] - All right, that's it, little
boy!) What? ([Crow] - Come on! Come on!)
[Mike] - ([Crow] - We are going to
teach...) Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Guys! Guys! ([Crow] - T'ha! T'ha!) Come
on... Be nice.... Is it so hard to be nice? ([Tom] - Yes...) God...
[Mike] - You
know, you guys shouldn't open these pop cans if you're not going to finish them.
OK? ([Crow] - Yeah..) Alright, now be nice.. Alright? ([Crow] - Yeah.) ([Tom] -
Well..) I'll see you.
[Mike] - (Pats both of them on the head, then leaves)
[Tom] - ([Crow]
- OK.) Yeah, sure - Thanks Mike. Ha, good advice... Dope! ([Crow] -
Yeah.)
[Crow] - If you
ask me, Mike would be a little more interesting if he weren't so nice.
[Magic Voice] - Oh, is that so!
[Tom] - Magic
Voice!
[Magic Voice] - Seems to me you two don't
appreciate Mike the way you should. That's why Cambot, thru the magic of his
advanced computer technology, has put together a little presentation to give you
a little peak of what it would be like to be around someone who wasn't so nice.
([Tom] - Oh boy..) Watch the monitors.
(Suddenly, an alternate reality is shown. Crow is reading from
Boy's Life magazine, while Tom reads over his shoulder)
[Crow] - (Laughing) Look at that, Servo.
I'd like to learn that magic trick! ([Tom] - That's fun, huh?) Yeah,
look...
[Mike] - I
suppose you think you're being a smart-aleck, don't you, mister! ([Crow] - Hey,
but..) Well, let me tell you something, I'll wipe that smile right off your
face!
[Crow] - I was
just.....
[Mike] - I was
just... Oh, shut your pie-hole! (hitting Crow with the rolled up magazine)
([Crow] - Ouch! Ouch!) I know a thing or two about a thing or two! I'm not
going to take any lip from you, I'll tell you that right now!
[Mike] - ([Tom] - But, we didn't do...)
(mocking) We didn't... (Hits Tom with the rolled up magazine) ([Tom] - Ouch!
(crying)) You shut your pie-hole! ([Tom] - Ouch! Ouch!) (mocking) Ouch, Ouch!
Don't hit me - Don't hit me...
[Mike] - I'm
not going to raise any sissies, I'll tell you that right now! I know a thing or
two about a thing or two. You guys got it easy around here, I'll tell you that
right now!
[Mike] - Look
at this! Who opened this pop? Is this pop done?
[Mike] - Is
this pop done? Look at that! (Cramming the Coke can into Tom's face!) Look at
pop! Is that done? You finish this pop! (To Crow) What about you?
(Tom and Crow basically cry throughout Mike's interrigation)
[Mike] - Look
at this! Did you put this pop down here!? Look at that! Is that done? That's not
done! (Jams the Dr Pepper can into Crow's eye socket!) That's a done pop!
OK!?
[Tom] - (Crying) OK, Cambot. We've seen
enough.
[Crow] - TURN
IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!!!!
(Tom continues to cry)
[Mike] - You
guys done with these magazines?
[Tom / Crow] - WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Both run
away)
[Mike] - Well... Alright.. Um.. OK if I
finish your soda? (laughs) (Drinks from Crow' can) Mmmm!
(Segment ends)
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