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6/21/2001


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Episode 621: The Beast of Yucca Flats

Host Segment

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[Crow] - Hello, I'm Crow T Robot, of the Satellite of Love.

[Crow] - You know, The Beast of Yucca Flats, Skydivers, and Red Zone Cube are just three examples of the many, many God-awful films made during this century.

(Mike walks across in the background)

[Crow] - Tragically, films like these are not deteriorating fast enough. That's why I urge you to support F.A.P.S : The Film Anti-Preservation Society.

[Crow] - At FAPS, we're devoted to allowing the films of Coleman Francis, and countless others, to die a gentle, natural death.

(Mike catches part of Crow's presentation)

[Crow] - We'll use your donations to transfer these films to fragile, volatile silver nitrate stock, so they'll rot quickly into natures compost.

[Crow] - Now, here's how you can help. If you find a copy of a film as bad as, oh, Aspen Extreme, please, store it in a warm, moist, salty place, such as a cheese factory, or your mouth!

[Mike] - Um, Crow?

[Crow] - The situation is serious! If we don't take action now, the entire filmography of Sylvester Stallone may be available for our children, and our grandchildren to view!

[Crow] - So if you want to save future generations from the legacy of Cliffhanger, Demolition Man, ([Mike] - Crow?) Cobra, Rhinestone, ([Mike] - Crow!?) Oscar, Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot...

[Mike] - Crow!?

[Crow] - I'm on television, Mike!

[Mike] - ([Crow] - Nighthawks, Paradise....) Ah, Don't you think what you're suggesting is wrong?

[Crow] - You're right, Mike. How awful of me.

[Crow] - Where was I? So please call now, and pledge what you can. Just dial 1-800-LET-ROTT. Won't you? Thank you.

[Mike] - (lets out a little embarrassed laugh)

(Segment ends)

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