A Mystery Science Theater 3000 Site

In Operation Since September 26, 1999

You are visitor number

  


This Update As Of:

6/28/2001


(Note: If the previous weeks images are shown, click the Reload / Refresh button on your browsers toolbar) 

Episode 311: It Conquered The World

Host Segment

---------------------------

[Crow] - (Sips down his coffee)

[Tom] - Mmmm, Mmmm! You know, that pie was delicious. Did you bake it yourself?

[Joel] - Oh, no. It's just a recipe my grandmother stole from the bakery! (To Crow) Hey, want some more?

[Crow] - Only half a gallon!

[Joel] - What are you so smug about? You look like a man who just inherited Texas!

[Tom] - Well, you may not be too far off! Well, you know, this coffee taste like it came out of an oil derrick! What, did you strain it through a mummy!

[Crow] - Yeah, the coffee taste like mud, Roger Mudd!

[Tom] - Yeah, and the coffee wasn't half as bad as the dinner!

[Joel] - Well, I only burn it when you come home drunk!

[Crow] - Oh, so you burn it every night!

[Joel] - Oh, don't bring that up again!

[Crow] - I have to bring it up. If I hold it in, I'll die!

[Tom] - Dye! That's what this coffee taste like, dye!

[Joel] - Did you two get enough? You hardly touched your steak.

[Crow] - I didn't want to touch it. It scared me.

[Tom] - Yeah, talk about steak being tough! I thought they retired Man O War to stud!

[Tom] - Oh, what would you know about being a stud!?

[Crow] - Well, the meat was better if you put that fuzzy gravy on it.

[Tom] - Oh, was that gravy? I thought the dog had been sick!

[Crow] - I've never seen Spam served so many ways... Especially in the Jell-O!

[Tom] - You know, halfway thru the dinner, my fillet got up and beat the hell out of my coffee, and the coffee was too weak to defend itself!

[Joel] - Oh well, it looked like you enjoyed the marinade, or were you just being a pig?

[Crow] - Hey, the only thing that's marinated around here is Tom!

[Tom] - Oh, next time why don't you just skip dinner and go strait to passing out on the table!?

[Joel] - Okay, keep it down, you two!

[Crow] - I don't think I can keep anything down if I have to keep looking at that dessert!

[Tom] - Yeah, you know, on second thought, forget about the pie. I'd just rather eat the recipe!

[Joel] - Oh, why can't we just have a meal like a family just once!?

[Joel] - We've got movie sign!

(Segment ends)

Join the  mailing list!
If you would like to link to my site, you can use the little banner above!

Click for

Win 95 / Win 98 Replacement Boot / Shutdown Screens

Click HERE for Screen Replacement Instructions.

     Download the entire segment audio clip!   

(If you choose to use any of these images on your MST3k web page, I would appreciate any mention.)

 

A feature brought to you by

E-Mail ME and offer your comments or suggestions!

Visit my wish list.