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NEXT UPDATE 12/27/01

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This Update As Of:

12/13/2001


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Episode 515: The Wild World of Batwoman

---------------------------

Complete Audio File

(Crow faces disciplinary action as a result of an earlier cheating incident)

[Crow] - (Whistling) Hey, Tom. What's up?

[Tom] - Meeting of the Satellite of Love crew. Oh, I don't think you'd want to come to this meeting. It's about *You*.

[Crow] - Me?

[Tom] - That's right. It's about how you cheated and betrayed the confidence of a sweet, innocent robot! It's about how you made a mockery of everything that good in this world! It's about how everything you touch, you destroy!

[Crow] - So, why can't I come?

[Tom] - D'oh! Would you just... (He runs Crow off)

[Tom] - Sorry I'm late.

[Mike] - Hi. Well, as unpleasant as this whole mess is, we have to address Crow's cheating.

[Mike] - Uh, I call this meeting to order... ([Tom] - GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY!) ([Gypsy] - TOM!) ([Tom] - GUILTY! GUILTY!)

[Gypsy] - Come on, Tom. Sure Crow's made a mistake, but we should have compassion. Remember, my gumball-headed young friend, the quality of mercy is not strained. It falleth from the heavens like a gentle rain.

[Tom] - Gypsy, he stole from your essay!

[Gypsy] - Really?..... FRY HIM! FRY HIM! I WANT HIS FAMILY DEAD! ([Tom] - There you go!)  I WANT HIS HOUSE BURNED TO THE GROUND! ([Tom] - Yeah! That's the spirit!) I WANT....([Mike] - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey...) Huh?

[Mike] - Calm down. This isn't getting us anywhere. I think the first thing that we need to do is... ([Crow] - (Comes out disguised as a French waiter))

[Mike] - Hey, who's this guy?

[Crow] - (With a thick French accent) Ah! Would you like some soup?

[Mike] - Why, yes I would! That's exactly--(realizes it's Crow when his glasses fall off) Ah, would you knock that off, Crow! ([Tom / Gypsy] - CROW!!) Get out of this meeting!!

[Mike] - All right, now. Um, I think we all agree that Crow needs some sort of punishment. ([Gypsy] - Yeah.) What should it be?

[Tom] - Well, if, um, I may quote from my colleague Gypsy, here... FRY HIM! FRY HIM!! BURN HIM UP!!  And if I may just interject one thought of my own... TEAR HIM UP!! RIP HIM APART!! BURN HIM!! And, in conclusion, DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIEEEEEEE!!! Any thoughts?

[Mike] - Yeah, well, actually, I was thinking more along the lines of not giving him any Hostess Snowballs. ([Gypsy] - Oh....)

[Mike] - Hey, Crow, buddy...

[Crow] - Yeah?

[Mike] - I hate to be the one to tell you this. W all talked it over and we decided to, um ([Tom] - SHUN YOU!)

[Crow] - Yeah? Well, I'm shunning you. ([Tom] - Well, I shunned you first!)

[Crow] - Yeah? I shun you back! ([Tom] - I double-shun you, version 2.1!)

(Commercial Sign light begins to flash)

[Crow] - I shun you, version 2.2! ([Tom] - I shun you, version 3 for Windows!) ([Mike] - This isn't getting us anywhere!)

[Mike] - We'll be right back! ([Crow] - Well, I shun you for System 7!) ([Tom] - I super-mega-frigging shun you!!) [Crow] - I frigging shun you back!)

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